In order to become a better listener, you have to be willing to be completely open minded and positive about accomplishing this goal. How would you feel if everything you said fell on deaf ears? It’s not a very good feeling and you need to take this into consideration the next time you sit down to have a meaningful conversation.
When dating, connecting to your partner is one of the most important factors in determining if you are compatible with one another. It is very easy to browse through some online photos to pick an attractive person, but will you have that emotional attraction as well?
Well, building a relationship through meaningful conversation is essential for building an emotional connection between you and the person you are dating.
What do I need to do to become a better listener?
• Focus – when you are engaged in conversation, you need to hone in and focus on what your date is saying. In sports we refer to it as being “in the zone”, and that’s where you need to be to become an active listener.
• Respond – let your date know that you have a pulse and are alive by responding to their words with positive body language (nodding head, etc.)
• Observe - You want to give off positive body language but you also want to observe their body language for any clues that they may be giving off. When dating, observing your date’s body language is a technique that you don’t want to overlook.
• Empathize - Become part of their story. How would you feel if what they were saying happened to you? Would it make you cry? Would you feel embarrassed? Well, by emotionally jumping into their story it makes it so much easier to focus and actively respond instinctively.
• Clarify - If you aren’t sure “exactly” what they mean, then ask. We all interpret words differently by nature and the only way you will know exactly what they mean is by asking.
• Don’t Interrupt - It is extremely rude and it sends them a signal that you just don’t care about what they have to say.
• Don’t Judge - When listening, it’s important that you don’t immediately judge your date. If they feel that you will immediately judge them, then there is a very good chance that they will not open up to you, hence that emotional connection to your date is not strengthened.
So do you still think that you have what it takes to become a better listener? I think you do, I’ve been listening!